Another Journey's End
by DutchLady
Summary: Seconds after JE the Doctor finds something unexpected in the Tardis. Bit angsty.


The Doctor leaned on the console. He was wet and if he was entirely honest with himself, he felt lonely and miserable. All his friends had moved on, they had left him. Sometimes because he made them, and sometimes because they should. Some stayed a year or more and some stayed for only a few months. But in the end they always left and he would end up alone. Again.

The wet clothes on his body all of a sudden became too tight. Walking towards his room, he took them off. Leaving a trail of wet, discarded clothes. But he didn't care. Putting on a dry brown suit, the Doctor spotted his spare blue suit. Without making a conscious dissicion about it, he grabbed the jacket and pants, ran through the long corridor, when he emerged in the console room again. He pushed a button on the console, ran towards the doors, opened them and chucked the blue suit into the vortex.

He hated that suit. It reminded him of his other self, standing on that beach in Norway in an identical suit. His other self that was kissing Rose. If he hated the blue suit, his other self, or simply himself, he wasn't sure. But he would never wear blue again.

The Doctor closed the door and walked back up the ramp. On the console he began pushing buttons that didn't need pushing and pulled levers that didn't need pulling. Anything to take his mind of things. That's when he spotted it, lying on the Captain's chair. A package, about the size of a shoe box. It was a shoe box. On top there was a card with his name on it. And if he wasn't mistaken it was in Martha's handwriting.

He picked the box up, it wasn't heavy. Inside he could hear things moving. He opened the box and peered inside. Inside there were three items: a package about the size of a book, a small box and a thick white envelope.

On the envelope his name was written again. Underneath it, it said: _Read this first_

He opened the envelope and held it upside down. Another, albeit smaller, envelope fell out, along with a sheet of A4. The new envelope was yellowed and looked very old. The Doctor picked up the sheet of A4 and read:

_Dear Doctor_

_Imagine me writing a letter! Me! I've never written a letter before in my life. Not unless you count the letter I had to write for my internship at the Royal Hope. But I digress. But here I am doing it. Writing you a letter._

_You're probably wondering why. Well, about a week ago I got a phone call from my Mum. And she asked me if I knew somebody called Simon Lattimer. Didn't ring any bells, but then my mum said that he asked her if I would meet with him and as a token that I could trust him he left me something._

_That something is in the small box. Please open that and then continue reading._

A little bit confused, the Doctor put Martha's letter aside and picked up the small box. He could hear something move inside, but didn't have a clue on what it could possibly be. Curiosity went to complete bewilderment when he opened the box and looked inside. He turned the box and in his hand fell an old fob watch. He immediately recognized it as his own. The one he had give to Tim Lattimer in 1913. He picked up Martha's letter again.

_You're right. Simon Lattimer is Tim Lattimers' grandson. The day after he talked to my mum on the phone, I met up with him in a small café in Central London. Simon told that Tim had passed away and that the watch was left to its original owner. Who that owner was the will didn't say, but that man could be reached by finding a Doctor Martha Jones in the year 2009. It had taken Simon a while to track me down; turns are that there aren't a lot of Martha Jones' who are doctors. Since I'm away a lot for UNIT, Simon decided to try and find my family and that's how he found me._

_And then he gave me something else, Doctor. Something I expected even less than your fob watch. How that came into my possession the other letter explains, or so I'm told. _

_Simon and I followed the instructions of two people that cared about you very much. Even if they only knew you for a very short time. _

_Please forgive me for giving you this in the way that I'm doing that now. I only wrote this in the few moments I had after saving the Earth. But I felt this was a very private moment, and there is no place for prying eyes._

_I think I know what's in the other package. I hope that… I don't know what I hope. Just know that if you want to talk, you'll know where I'll be._

_Love, Martha._

The Doctor folded Martha's letter in half and put it away. He reached for the shoe box and lifted the last item out. It couldn't be. It was the right size, it had the right weight. So it simply couldn't be. Feeling a small pang of dread, the Doctor opened the package.

And out fell John Smith's Journal of Impossible Things.

It felt familiar in his hands and yet so strange. He had written this journal and he didn't. He never would have expected to see this book again, but here it was. Carefully he opened it and skimmed the pages. The faces of his previous selves jumped out at him, Rose, and drawings of Daleks, Slitheen, Cybermen, and his Tardis.

He didn't think about those three months often, but when he did, he wished he could have handled it better. He hurt so many people by becoming human. And the two that were hurt the most were Martha and Joan.

When he became human, he had already known off Martha's feelings for him. He just hoped that if he ignored it, it would simply vanish. But it hadn't and being basically on her own in 1913 for three months, watching the man she loved fall in love with another woman wasn't easy. But it was the strong woman that she is, that made Martha offer him to talk to Joan. He was grateful for it, but in the end it would've hurt Joan even more.

Joan was a very strong woman as well. And falling in love with John Smith proved that, along with the fact that when John Smith's life unravelled before her eyes, she stayed strong and encouraged him to do the right thing. To open that watch and watch the man she loved dying at the hands of a man who looks exactly like him. She was right for sending away like she had. The Doctor knew he had been an insensitive prick.

Coming back to present day the Doctor picked up the yellowed envelope and opened it.

_Hello,_

_I still don't know what I should call you, Doctor or John. To me, you'll always be John and the Doctor is the man that took him away from me. But since I'm writing this letter to you, I shall call you Doctor._

_For a long time I hated you. For destroying so many lives, including mine. But then I realised that hating you wasn't right. You made the best decision you could make under the circumstances and I respect you for it. I later learned from Martha that that's what you do. Make the decision that on other can make. And if something goes wrong, you'll life with the guilt forever._

_Please know, that I don't hate you anymore and I hope that one day you'll realise that you don't have to feel guilty about what has happened. If you hadn't come here, it would have happened somewhere else. Some things just happen._

_I always knew that one day I would have to return John's journal to you. But I am weak and can't do that face to face. So I have to be creative and do it like this. I know that Tim has your watch, and Tim and I have stayed in touch over the years. And we both realised that when something strange happened and it was solved almost by magic, you would be behind it._

_I remember an incident in 1953 at the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II. That was you, wasn't it? I hope so. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I apologize. _

_Tim and I agreed that we would give the Journal and the watch back to you. But we would only do it when we had both passed away. Since I'm older then Tim, I left the Journal in my will to him. And he would leave both items in his will to Martha Jones._

_Martha never told us where she was from, but Tim managed to work it out. _

_So we both leave these items to you, because they belong to you._

_Perhaps you should know as well that I remarried in 1919. My husband and I were blessed with a son and daughter. We named them John and Martha. _

_I hope that one day you'll never feel guilty about the lives you can't save. But I fear that day won't come. I think I know you well enough for that._

_I lived a beautiful life and hope that one day you'll realise that your life is beautiful as well._

_Joan Redfurn._

The Doctor swallowed hard, blinking his tears away. Thankful for her letter and thankful that Joan Redfurn had had a blessed life.


End file.
